it's been what, like 2 weeks?

2 weeks of classes, and already i've been sucked into the abyss that is intarmed, with the killer curriculum, horrendous schedule, and teachers that are just pains in the butt. of the past 15 days or so, i recall doing nothing but constantly studying for quizzes, answering assignments, trudging and lugging myself around campus (including rob and pgh), pushing myself to get through class hours alive and conscious, and all other forms of torture that a freshie college student living outside his home can legally bear.

okay, so maybe i exaggerated a bit. it hasn't all been that bad. contrary to my before-held belief, condo life isn't half bad. not that i thought it would be horrible, but that it would be boring as hell. turns out, living in the vicinity of up manila means that you're in the company of friends nearly 24/7. which in turn means last-full-show movies, late-night trips to baywalk, hanging out in the condo during free hours, chismis tidbits here and there, and foodtripping nearly every waking moment. and i promise, i'm not exaggerating now.

i think it was friday when we basically did nothing but eat, and yesterday it was nothing but junk food. it's also fun when we get to salu-salo and just pig out. all the food laid out on our kiddie picnic table, only 5 forks available, 10 people in the unit, a culinary free-for-all. not that we run out of food, more supplies are just a floor or a ministop away. and during the times when i am alone (like right now, burning bytes and pesos in an internet cafe), i get to relax, read some books (or modules, God forbid), sing out loud, or go out myself. even away from home, private time can't get any more private than that.

yep, living in the condo is probably the only positive thing about this semester. at least as positive as it can get. but it does have its drawbacks. a major one, at that. living and sleeping under another roof 6 days a week has taken a toll on my home mentality. i've gotten too used to condo life. sure, it's good too, independence and responsibility and all that, but i just don't want to abandon my real home just yet. i still want to think of it as my real home, my shelter, my refuge. within the span of 2 weeks, it transformed from being just that to being an oasis. an oasis in the middle of an endless desert of college and studies. i basically go home to bring my laundry, to restock on food and clothes, and some precious internet and ps2 moments. i even did something so surprising this saturday: after eating dinner, i took my plate and rinsed it in the kitchen sink. unconsciously. i never did that before, i usually just leave it at the dinner table. not that rinsing my plate was bad (in fact, it's not), but it's not normal for me. i'm now permanently in the mindset of condo life. and my home is silently tucked away in a corner of my mind, awaiting the time when it can resurface. it's not just a nice place to visit, it's great if i could live there. i just can't.

and speaking of changing mentalities, i noticed something. 2 weeks of classes haven't just given me homework, stress, and general inconvenience and pain. they've also taken away something precious from me: the rest and relaxation i got during the sem break. it always happens that way. sure, the sem break was a month of paradise for me. but when classes started, maybe even as soon as a few days after, i just got dragged back into the world of college and familiar manila territory. studying. marching to and fro through rob. classes. after experiencing all that for just 3 days, it again seemed like we had been doing it for forever. doing it since june, nonstop, no breaks, no vacations, no nothing. the sem break turned into a figment of my imagination, like "did it even really happen? then why does it feel like i've been doing the same thing ever since forever?" i can hardly remember the moments spent during that blissful time. the past and present all just got blurred and mixed up, consequently erasing the sem break from existence. i just got easily caught up in college life, my mind seamlessly shifted from vacation mode to school mode. i just got so used to it, to the patterns of school, so quickly that i fooled myself into thinking that i never left those patterns at all. so much for rest and relaxation.

but what the hell. the sem break's been long over. i can't retake those moments now. i've been back in up for half a month now anyway.

might as well get used to it.