i'll be turning 17 soon.

as in 3 days soon. with my birthday and christmas coming up, it seemed like a good idea to post my "wish list" (or must-have list) for presents. i think my birthday and christmas are significantly spaced apart, warranting separate gifts for each occasion. i hate it when 2-holidays-in-1 gifts are given, you get cheated out of half of what you deserve.

at least i already received an advanced birthday present from up above. i went home wednesday afternoon after the centennial opening celebration (a morning of parades, free food, and camratting galore) to meet my dad after he arrived home. and as fate would have it, classes were suspended both on thursday and friday. so i got to spend all that free time here at home, rather than in manila, where we probably would have been stuck in the condo due to the heavy rains anyway. i know it's a bit selfish to rejoice in this weather when so many others are suffering, but i can't help it. i'll make sure to do my part to help those in need later.

i was supposed to post this list on wednesday, but my internet card ran out of load and the new one couldn't connect at all. it's okay, there's still enough time to get the things on this list before monday *wink wink*.


ps2 memory card
after 2 years' worth of gaming, i've got less than 1 mb left in my current card.


table tennis paddle
again, almost 2 years of use on my current one. if i can only find another dunlop paddle.


beanbag chair
i love beanbags! i think one will be perfect for long gaming hours.




shoes
a nice clean white pair of sneakers, and chuck taylors in all colors of the rainbow.


jackets
these are penshoppe designs, but i can go with anything similar. especially like the khaki one.


belts
canvas belts, that is. i found some better, decent pictures.


bags
maybe a new messenger, a drawstring, or a small handheld vanity bag.


digicam
i'm not so absolute on the specs of this (i just got the picture from nowhere), just anything with decent resolution and memory. for camratting purposes.

that's not too much, is it?

it's never too much.

oh, the pain.

okay, maybe a bit too dramatic. but still painful nonetheless.

since we went biking last last wednesday, blisters have been popping up my body nonstop. 2 blisters developed on my left hand from grasping the bike handles too tightly. another blister formed on my chest, which i mistakenly took for a pimple and scratched it. it burst, giving me stinging sensations around my heart.

something itched around my forbidden regions last tuesday, and i think i subconsciously scratched it before going to sleep. now it's started peeling and forming a scab. looks so disgusting. and just recently, a blister formed near my ankle for no apparent reason. and unless i'm hallucinating, it's grown much bigger since this morning. now i'm spending so much energy in trying to protect it from being popped.

any and all suggestions and remedies will be greatly appreciated.

no more pain, please.

not much time to type this.

i only had around 5 hours of sleep last night. i was halfway to sleep around 12, when i received a round of greetings from imed friends (who make it their business to greet birthday celebrants 1st thing at midnight). my replies might have been a little above subconscious, but i remember the messages fine.

waking up around 5, it felt no different than usual. except for one main point: i woke up at 5. no 15- to 20-minute grace period for me to shake off slumber and in the process, become horribly late. i showered, changed, and for a twist, i asked my dad how to shave my moustache. i know, i could have done it much earlier, but doing it today just gave it a little more significance. like a rite of passage, but optional.

uh, happy birthday to me? hehe...

being 17 is fun.

imagine, i've only been 17 for how many hours (23 hours, in fact) and i've done so much grown up stuff i've never done before in my life: shave my moustache by myself (used to have the barber do that), buy my own clothes, stay up until past 12, buy gifts for classmates (kris kringle actually), fix my own bed, commute by myself, get a strike in bowling, and so many other fun adult stuff.

okay, so maybe not all that adult and fun. for those who couldn't figure it out, a bit of sarcasm kind of got mixed in with my raving. make it a ton of sarcasm. who knows, i may be a bit bitter about the whole thing.

bitter, but not at today and what happened. i'm used to having uneventful birthdays. since half my family left for the states, leaving me and my dad behind, we don't really get all fancy for celebrations such as these. it usually boils down to birthday dinners (pansit, chicken, the usual) with some close available relatives. and i don't receive gifts that much, if at all. but still, i'm not bitter. i'm apathetic to the whole thing. besides, i can usually get my dad to buy me stuff i want even if for no occasion (but usually he credits it as advanced birthday or holiday gifts). and i received much more birthday texts today than i think i did last year. some even came at 12 sharp (thanks to imed, specifically to the bocoboys). a fun birthday, or as close as i can get.

what i'm bitter about is getting older. no, i'm not one of those *really* bitter people who go on anti-aging regimes and lie about their age, but i'd really like to stay young. as young as possible. i mean, what's the point of officially growing 1 year older on your birthday? you grow every day, if not by a year's bound. nothing really significant happens between the last day of 16 and the first day of 17 (at least not for me). all a birthday really does is quantify your aging, and registers you as another year older.

now usually, i don't mind the label of age. i can often boast about being younger than most of my batchmates (in imed, 5 people are younger than me, 1 of them only by 24 hours) and i can get past teasing and criticizing my friends for being my seniors. in fact, i love pointing out the fact that some of my friends become "2 years" older than me at some time during the year. but when the label strikes back, look who's jumping ship. sure, it's only fair that some friends now point out that i'm the one growing older. i can get most of them back in a couple of months. what i don't like is the label itself. age isn't really something i'd like to grow. i really value being young, young in body (not so young in looks, but i shaved my moustache already) and young at heart. too bad it gets taken away, bit by bit, as the years go on.

but what the heck (i noticed, i say this all the time), can't stop time. might as well take advantage of it all. or at least bear with it. look at the funner side of things. i can finally get a license, as if i can really drive the old toyota properly. still need more practice. last night, the episode of nip/tuck focused on a woman so paranoid about growing old, she kept availing of free surgeries to revitalize her body. she also took antidepressants against her depression, which led to a stroke during another operation. and the daughter of one of the surgeons had her first mens. at the tender age of 8. now i can't really believe that's possible, but there must be some truth to it, all due to hormones in their meat and dairy products. now that's an eye-opener. and when i woke up this morning, the first thing i fixated on was a discovery channel program showcasing ancient chinese anti-aging secrets. really uplifting for a birthday morning. and just this afternoon, me and my friends went on a big denial spree, and shopped in the kids department of robinsons! for a semi-fitting shirt fanatic, it's a little slice of heaven. i bought 2 shirts, a sort of birthday splurge, which were really cool, one featured the message "future rock star" and the other one resembled oxygen shirts so much it was amazing. and they were at rock-bottom prices at that, or at least compared to real teen-adult wear. what's fun is they really fit good, but the rock star one's a bit too tight. might have it replaced tomorrow, good thing i scavenged the receipt from our trash can.

that took the misery out quite a bit. and only 364 days, 1 hour until the next episode.

you know, i'd go to any lengths for free food.

it was a *very* belated birthday treat. yellow cab, katips. they scheduled to meet at 4:30, to accomodate my travel time from manila. i got there so early, around 4, that no one was there yet and i had to go to national to pass the time and buy some envelopes. i returned around 4:45, and there were people eating. dino and joby, to be exact. i went in, proceeded to wolf down a slice of an 18" 4-cheese pizza they ordered, the other people came, 6 of us in all, we ordered another pizza, a 14" mushroom-pepperoni. i think i had 5 slices in all. i might not have stopped just yet, if it wasn't absolutely necessary.

i hadn't attended mass yet that day, and luckily ria planned to go to mass around 6. so i was able to come with her. it was a bit unfair because the other people were either evangelicals or had already gone to mass, and they kept on eating while they waited for us. at least they waited. after the mass, we proceeded to shakeys, where they had already started pigging out on personalized sundaes from the ice cream bar. of course, we had to get a piece of that action. and just saying, but the ice cream tower ria and i made was much taller than what the others had.

we kept on talking long after the ice cream had been devoured, leaving shakeys around 9. i wanted to borrow a book from ria, so 4 of us went up to her condo to borrow it. little did we know, we were never to come back down again... until after 12:30. what started as a short sidetrack to coming home escalated into a full-scale chismisfest. of course, i can't delve into the details at all, just that it was a hell of a time. great bonding time actually.

i actually planned to return to manila after the dinner, but we left at 9, and i anticipated to lrt station to be closed by the time i get there, so i settled for going home in qc. but no one knew i was there. i texted our maid to wait for me to come home around 11, not expecting we would extend beyond that. around 12, everyone at home must have started becoming paranoid and panicky, with me not coming home yet. my dad called my dying cellphone, so i had to call him up on our landline. i was forced to cut our "session" short, since my dad insisted i come home, and my classes start at 7 am. too bad, it seemed like we wouldn't run out of things to talk about just yet. we said our goodbyes, hailed a taxi at katips, and made our way home. good thing my dad was asleep by the time i arrived, avoiding the inevitable "grilling" i'd be getting soon.

slept around 1, woke up 5:30. squeezed in bathing, eating, and a little bit of net time in the span of 30 minutes. good thing my dad was in a good mood, and i didn't get too roughed up for staying out late last night. i'm already 17 anyway.

free food is always fun. more so with friends and the "talks of the town".

i used to be a morning person.

i love mornings. the sunshine, the fresh morning air, the morning routines, and all the time in the world. they just give you the feeling that time extends indefinitely, like you can do so much more. i fondly remember the days when my brother and i would wake up at 6 am just to watch transformers. yes, those were the days.

well, not anymore. i still try to wake up as early as possible, which more often turns out to be around 9 am. i still love mornings, but more like a long-distance relationship. over the course of age and necessity, the night has started to become a closer friend than the morning can be.

now, maybe i don't have wild nightlives like others out there, but it's become a pretty significant time nonetheless. prime internet surfing time, a time to catch up on reading or tv reruns, time to study and cram for tomorrow's exam, time to watch late night movies or go on trips to baywalk, time to kick back and listen to music, time to needlessly spend with friends. a time for all the things school and other stuff deprive me of.

and so right now, i'm hunched up in front of the pc, reading the "digital fortress" e-book i received long ago, drinking the last of the tea i prepared (i think i found a new addiction), and surfing and reading blogs. but the caffeine is nearly spent, and the fatigue is catching up.

have to meet the morning bright and early. good night.

the holidays are upon us.

along with the weather, the break, the presents (i hope), and the cheer, this christmas brings more new things. new situations, new people, new experiences, which are already presents in themselves.

this is the first christmas i've had with a different school in a long time. over the past few months, up manila has been my new academic institution, and manila has served as my second home. things are a bit different here than from where i hailed from, and christmas is no exception. up manila goes hand-in-hand with the pgh, and so several christmas events are focused on the charity wards. we have the salubungan ng mga tala, a lantern-trading choir-carolling program between the different colleges. and of course, there are the old up favorites, the oblation run and lantern parade, up manila style. too bad i have to miss those.

and of course, with a new school comes new classmates and new friends. imed 2011 has proven to be a nonstop partyfest thus far. for our kris kringle, i've received a flashing electric guitar ref magnet and a capiz fang necklace. can't wait for my final gift. we'll also be having our shakey's christmas party on tuesday night, which i'm sure will turn out to be great. there are plans to go to star city, but with the suspended classes suddenly gaining ground, there's just no more time to spare.

and why do i have to miss these christmas affairs, especially for the first time? because i'll be leaving on the 15th. it's also the first christmas i'll be spending away from home since forever. and the first i'll be spending in the us, with my mother and siblings. too bad they don't have snow in louisiana, but as long as i'm with family, it's sure to be a holiday to remember.

i'd hate to get mushy right now, but there's something i've learned through all this. christmas is christmas, regardless of the place you are in, the parties and events you have, and the ways and customs you celebrate it with. as long as you're in the company of family and friends.

nothing else can be said.

can be the most interesting, at times.

i'm now officially a tea junkie. okay, maybe not high-quality exotic tea like jasmine or chamomile or something, just off-the-supermarket-shelf lipton tea. as of friday night, i've drank over 15 mugs' worth of tea, 5 of which from this morning. it feels great to find something so refreshing yet healthy to be addicted to.

bowling is actually proving to be a productive pe 2 lesson. albeit the costs of commuting and use of the facilities, i'm actually learning something. our first official game left me with a score of 133, probably half of which came from the defective scoring system in our lane. we had that taken care of (manually) this afternoon, and i came out with a score of 91 and 141. now, not to be boastful (okay, maybe a bit), the 141 came from a line of strikes, spares, and 9-pin frames. in fact, 2, 5, and 3 respectively. to put it in a cliché, "i was on a roll."

the salubungan ng mga tala came after our bowling class. we took a lot of time preparing for this, meeting for choir practices with 2010, cutting the cellophane stars for the costumes (so cute!), and spending so much extra time for the practices than for other stuff (namely sleeping). too bad it had to turn out like it did. it was... disappointing, to say the least. not that the program was bad by any means. we enjoyed prancing around upm, transferring the parols (haha, super misuse of taglish right there) from one building to another.

but the thing about it is, it was so informal. just the group of people parading and carolling around, a short song by the faculty, then moving on to the next one. in fact, we were the only ones in costume. heck, we were the only students! our well-practiced chorale pieces, composed by 2010's musical virtuosos, then seemed to be inappropriate for the festive, flexible theme of the event. we became the event's portable choir, parading along with the group, singing one song every stop. we ended up singing 3 of our original 5 songs, but we totally blew the atin nang salubungin piece with 4 voices. i enjoyed singing pasko na, sinta ko with only the male voices since it was the closest piece to informal we had. oh well, at least we know what to do next year: not to overthink it, and just to have fun.

after the program, we watched campus idol. it's a sort of american idol-ish event, first in up manila then among different colleges. 2 imed batchmates participated in the event, i think they were the only freshmen in it too. robee was a bit nervous at the start, he kept eating his words and breaking on the long notes. but towards the end, he just hit the high ones like nobody's business. but it was vj who surprised us the most. he's usually reserved and quiet during classes, but what met us during the show was a singing sensation. the deep baritone voice just blew everyone else away (in my opinion). his choice of song was just right for him, and one could see the imed girls just swooning over him down the stage. god, i wish i had a voice that deep and resonant. oh yeah, the emcee also had a great bass voice. puberty, just a few more steps please...

now i'm at home, and should be packing clothes for the trip but am too stubborn to listen to my dad. i'm also fretting about my costume for tomorrow's christmas party. we were asked to wear something we wouldn't normally wear. so any suggestions please, aside from the all-too-common panty/bra/napkin comment. i'm thinking uber-large shirt (all i wear are my slim-fits nowadays) and super-short shorts (swimming trunks, actually) and it looks like i'm not wearing anything for the lower part.

but maybe something not *too* drastic.

let me tell you a story.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

- wednesday afternoon, 3:30 pm, my dad's bedroom, preparation and briefing before i leave, he tells me where to keep my money.

dad: ok, ilagay mo na lang dito sa bulsa na 'to (pointing to the tiny watch pocket or whatever it's called).

me: sige, kasya naman eh. titingnan ko ung pants na gagamitin ko mamaya kung kasya dun.

- i rush to my room, get the light-brown pants i'm going to wear during the trip.

me: ah eto dad, merong bulsa to...

dad: white? white pants? while travelling?! carlo...!

me: bakit? ano ung problema?

dad: isuot mo na lang ung suot mo ngayon. eh white...!

me: ano bang pinagkaiba...?

dad: white! white pants! *insert random pinoy expletive here* ang impractical! isipin mo nga!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

and there it was. i was stuck in the airport later that night in my maong pants. tough, heavy maong pants i only wore because of our chem lab earlier that day. that bummed so much, i had planned everything with those light-brown (not even white!) pants. i loved travelling in those pants, so loose and flexible and comfy. i also packed one pair of denim pants, so i would have one denim and one non-denim pair. now all the outfits i had planned are ruined.

and what's the big deal with light-colored pants while travelling anyway? it's not like i'll get pre-menstrual spotting on the plane. is there a rule against wearing light-colored pants in airports after labor day? do i get horrible pantymarks, letting everyone see through them to my black boxers? all i'll be doing during the trip is sit and eat and sleep anyway. is there nothing or no one who can justify the loss of my pants?

but hey, i'm here, i made it, right? and i won't let anything, not redundant pants, not incomplete outfits, not impaired stylishness ruin the holidays.

i'll survive

let me run you through *one of* the best things about being here.

and that's advanced tv seasons. aside from the expansive library, the easy-make food variety, and *of course* my family, the television series shown on foreign cable jump ahead one, two, sometimes countless seasons from what is available on philippine tv. let it be the oc, queer eye for the straight guy, friends, or digimon, the progressed shows give me something to look forward to, and to waste time on, during the break.

however, like always, there's always a catch. after 2 months (or in this case, 2 weeks) of full tv immersion, i just have to return home to the good old archipelago with its backwards cable viewing experience. it will kill me to be at home (in qc) in a few weeks watching yu-gi-oh on cartoon network, knowing that the new season just started airing on the kids! wb network here in new orleans yesterday. or reading about the pokémon series, unfortunately non-existent in local channels at home, when tons and bundles and caboodles of new seasons have been released over here. it always makes leaving such a crying shame.

so sorry if i'm being weird right now. being behind on the other, more mature series is okay with me, i can rarely ever complete a whole season of those anyway. it's just the cool kiddie animé which get me twisted and depressed. even after turning 17.

i'm desperately holding on to my childhood.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU!!!

through all the food, the fun, and the celebration, let us never forget the true spirit and meaning of christmas.

sharing and compassion to our fellow man. goodwill among men. peace on earth. all to rejoice and celebrate in the birth of our lord Jesus Christ.

to all tabulas friends and people, may you and your families have a blessed and memorable christmas this year.

how unfair can it get?

weather update: south texas, around the city of houston, has been experiencing snow for over 24 hours right now. in texas! where snow hasn't been recorded in over a hundred years (according to the weather channel). then we come to good old new orleans. temperatures of freezing or near-zero, but all we've gotten so far is a little sleet and inches of freezing rain. still hoping for the best this afternoon, but i don't dare hold my breath.

is it so wrong to want to have a white christmas? dreams of basking in the snowfall, tasting the snowflakes landing on my tongue. frolicking in the fresh white blanket, tossing snowballs and forming what ice sculptures my hands and imagination can conjure up. sliding and riding on a snowsled, admiring the beauty of the regal winter landscape.

okay, so maybe my mind has been disillusioned by the hundreds and thousands of holiday snow scenes commercialized and propagated in today's media. but still, it would be a nice memory to add to my portfolio. one of the things i was most looking forward to about christmas in the states was the prospect of snow. i honestly and fervently prayed for the weather to turn last night, during the midnight mass we attended. after which, the weather did turn, however towards sleet and rain. not exactly what i asked for, but thanks for the effort anyway.

anyway, i won't take it against anybody. maybe snow just isn't for me right now. the temperature we've had right now is enough to make my breath fog up outdoors, which is well and fun in its own way. my face is dry, my hands are frostbitten, also proving that i'm ill-equipped to handle the weather. and with the magic of snow still eluding my grasp, it'll make it all the more sweeter when i finally do get my white christmas.

happy birthday jesus.

it wasn't exactly like i imagined.

but it was more than i expected.

we were all at the house of a filipino friend, having our christmas get-together, when one of the teenagers looks out the window and calls "it's snowing! look, it's snowing!" no one wants to believe, until we get a glimpse of the feathery sky and the whitewashed roof. we all rush outside, welcomed by the frigid wind and the fluttering ice. and so it was. it was snowing.

you can never imagine the thrill of your first snowfall, until you experience it yourself. the entire sky dusty with white, the flakes falling slowly, as if in a dream. try to stare upwards, the dull glare of the sun highlighting the ice pixies dancing around. it's been a fancy of mine to taste snow, yet it becomes challenging as the flakes land in your eye rather than on your tongue. and when you do catch them, it's almost like tasting air; it lingers for a moment before dissipating in its liquid state. after prancing in the streets and admiring the sky, turn to the magnificence of the land. roofs, cars, trees, all outfitting a shiny shimmering coat. tiny grasses peek out of the thinly formed blanket, standing tall amidst the all-encompassing white. the whole world as if it were dipped in a sweet sugary coating.

not only are the kids captivated by this sight, but some of the adults as well. we gaily dance and scream the coming of the snow to the street, shivering and chattering in our ill-suited clothing. we admire each other, dressed in our own unique snowfall. picture- and video-taking abound. unfortunately, the snow never falls fast or strong enough, and the blanket doesn't form thick enough, so there wasn't adequate resources for snowmen or snow angels or other icy paraphernalia. we did, however, fashion snowballs from the thickening tops of the cars and participate in our little juvenile (with a grown-up or two) snowball fight. we can only last minutes in the freezing air, so we eventually rush inside, to the towels and tea and toasters.

all good things will pass, unfortunately. and so after an hour or so of heavy snowfall, it halts and leaves for the next holiday. but fortunately, the sun pardoned us this once and chose to hide behind the fog of the sky, leaving the white intact, for us to bask in at least once more. now is the day after, only now the sun decides to show. in a few hours the snow will be but a memory, but for now it perseveres, letting us one last chance to admire it, to bask in it, to remember it well.

who'd have thought that it would snow right here, right now? it's been over a decade since the last snowfall in new orleans, and half a century since it snowed on christmas day. and just in the year when i would celebrate my christmas here. God and nature must have really conspired to grant me my presents both on my birthday and this yuletide season. for my 17 years, the extended weekend during which i was at home while the storm rolled on. and now, the white christmas i had dreamed about and longed for.

i must have been exceptionally good this year.

my tabulas is going so slow.

not just my comments, but my tagboard's been stagnant for quite a long time. it's not the fault of any other blogger out there, just mine. i've been a bit too lazy to update and explore and use tabulas in general. wonder why.

christmas is over. the food is finished, the decor's still up, the snow is melted, the celebration is waiting for the next holiday season. all i'm left with is the remaining days of the vacation, and the terrifying reality it entails: homework. with less than a week left, and over 4 courses to study for, you could say i'm a bit behind *rolls eyes*. thanks to the imed people who took the initiative the *share* their knowledge with the less-gifted and less-driven.

credits to them, and good luck to me.

here's a sweet little tidbit for the nothing-better-to-do.

i stave off procrastination and succumb to academic responsibility, and proceed to type my social sciences homework using microsoft word. i type in a sentence including the phrase "...as they see fit for its well-being." and to my unsurprise, the green squiggly zigzag underscore appears underneath the 'well-being' word, signifying the all-too-common grammatical error in my work.

knowing that the word grammar autocorrect can *sometimes* come in handy (specially in identifying double spaces) and actually provide proper errata for my language use, i right-click the term. the correction comes up, being 'well being'. i see no apparent error in this, and so i opt to change my word use.

but a few seconds later, lo and behold, the green squiggly zigzag underscore appears yet again, under 'well being' this time. i right-click it again, half-expecting the correction to be 'wellbeing' (which would be totally wrong). to my surprise, what comes up?

'well-being'.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

i've been trying to come up with some new year revelational entry for myself, but i just can't go into creative writing mode. maybe later.

till then...