Entries for September, 2006

*sigh*
Currently feeling: wishful
Posted by no_brainer on September 1, 2006 at 07:38 PM | 2 comments
the best plans are the ones that aren't made.

make sure "fashionably late" is already late, ok?

we really must have more car-overloading-picture-hogging-close-range-screaming roadtrips.

a homecoming isn't where the program is, but where the people are.

i miss out-of-town outings so bad.

it's fun to hear that you've increased your *market value*.

beer trivia actually exists.

i absolutely must try more cocktails.

the more doesn't necessarily mean the merrier.

sub-sober dreams and alcohol talk is the greatest.

there's a time for denial, and there's a time to just shut up and drink.

save your tales of fx capers for last.

you learn truths about your friends, but they're still your friends nonetheless.

if any of you are reading this, nothing, and i mean *nothing* leaves the confines of these walls, and our dim and hazy memories.
Currently feeling: swell
Posted by no_brainer on September 3, 2006 at 12:25 PM | 28 comments
no, i haven't started back on the path to blog abandonment, though nearly two weeks without any new entries might classify as such. it's just that hell month has already started, with two or more exams each week, our first ward work coming up soon, and a research proposal on gano and gout to squeeze in somewhere amidst all the panic and frustration. i'm just priming myself for the last few weeks of the first semester, which entails constantly hitting the books and just trying to keep up with all the load remaining in the sem. after that, it'll be three whole weeks of smooth sailing during the sem break, during which i've also got some activities lined up for, but that's for another time.

and just to be frank, my mind hasn't been in much of a creative groove lately. it might be all the innumerable tidbits of med lore i've been supersaturating it with, or plain fatigue is just setting in. but regardless of why it's so, my good old neuronal network just isn't up for a filling dose of wordplay nowadays. it's not like the well has gone dry though; there've been some bouts of daily drama that i wanted to spill my guts about recently, but i guess baring my soul through my writing just isn't my forte. again, maybe some other time.
Currently listening to: rhythmics tunes
Currently feeling: pooped
Posted by no_brainer on September 15, 2006 at 07:40 PM | 2 comments
imagine 160 people (okay, so now it's technically down to 157, hopefully not still counting). that's 160 nicknames to remember, 160 birthdays to celebrate, 160 cellphone numbers to ask for. 160 separate minds, 160 distinct personalities. 160 lives all intertwined with one another from the day we first set foot in that lecture room. the number may seem intimidating; but that's because it is. even if you're all stuck in one big classroom, and even if you'd all be together for 5 long years, it's enough of a challenge to get to know all of these people, much less make real, genuine, meaningful connections with all of them.

but then, that's where the big contradiction steps in. even if it's understood that you won't click with everyone and not everyone will click with you, you all get thrown into these situations where you're *forced* to make such connections with these people, regardless of whether you're naturally capable of making such, or certain circumstances dictate that you'd be much better off leaving these things alone. and in these situations, it's pretty much get along with each other or else die trying to survive all by your lonesome.

our curriculum thrives on group dynamics; nearly everything aside from exams (oh, if only...) have to be done with 3 or more people at your side. transcriptions, dissection, histology lab, mentoring, problem-based learning, you name it, we've got a group for it. and chances are, these groups are formed on the single quantifying basis of the order of our surnames, nary taking into account the presence or possibility of chemistry between them. and since you can't really change your last name on a whim, this is how you become stuck with your forevermates, your alphabetical friends.

it's like med school is really just a big experiment in personality conditioning and social dynamics. i could practically feel the video cams focusing, watching to see whether we could all become one big happy family in ourselves, or if we're just setting ourselves up to crash and burn in our attempts at civility, taking our future in med school down with it. since that's obviously not a feasible choice, at least not for anyone who's the half-bit serious about being here, everyone finds a way to deal with the cards they're dealt. dry sarcasm is always an option, and so are apathy, ignoring or avoiding people, or maybe just keeping to yourself. again, none of these are really good options either, seeing as you're usually stuck with the same people until internship. then comes the hard part.

when you start interacting with these people, it's when you start finding out their true character. it's when you start seeing all these tiny faults and issues they have, things you can't stand now, and can't imagine standing for so many semesters. even people you thought you'd get along with, as an effect of simply spending too much time together, start showing things that turn you off.

that's not always how it should happen, though. you can also find common interests, things that can make them good companions. it's also when you get to know these people that you find that they can be really caring, responsible, and dependable. you can also learn something else important: patience. it's when you learn that all those little quirks people have don't really matter, that they don't stop them from being good people. and even if they have these irreconcilable faults that really just irk you, you have to learn to look past them and appreciate whatever good they have deep *deep* inside.

and when you can make pacts of unwavering support and togetherness throughout all upcoming trials over triple cake slice treats and chicken ala kiev, as legally and morally binding as if it were written in the presence of a judge or carved by godly bolts of lightning into stone, rather than hastily sketched on a moist table napkin with a pseudo-makeup red gel pen and signed by haggard students on a sugar high, and yet everyone else is taking it as seriously as you are, that's when you know that you can drop the "alphabetical" part and you're just left with... friends.
Currently feeling: sabog
Posted by no_brainer on September 24, 2006 at 02:50 PM | 4 comments
« 2006/08 · 2006/10 »